Douche Bags Get ALL the Ladies
Hey asshole, do you love your tats, affliction shirts, tilted cap, sweaty body’s and unusually dark tan? Then chances are you are a certified douche bag. It seems as though all of a sudden douche bag has become a regularly used and accepted term across the nation in the United States. There are New Jersey douche bags, famous Hollywood douche bags and even douche bags from the Dirty South. People give the term a negative connotation, but truth be told, they do get the attention of girls. Slutty ones, the best kind… right? So how do you become a douche bag? Well you have to have the personality, charisma, and all around style. AND you have to be a grade A obnoxious idiot.
Last week I saw a dude wear a douche bag shirt with fake suspenders and sunglasses at Culver City’s hip burger joint Father’s Office. I wanted to smack him upside the head. He was pulling girls left and right though. Yea, I know, I’m a jealous hater… Fuck you too. He had a couple cuties around his arm and other girls staring at his dumbass shirt. This fool actually put his keys on his right suspenders and girls were playing with it. If that’s not functional fashion I don’t know what is.
The shirt’s actually not that bad if you can pull it off. It’s lame but it brings attention to you. Girls like playing with it and flirting with you while you’re wearing it. I don’t know about the 50 buck price tag though, that seems kind of steep for an undershirt with some print on it and some cheap rings. Check out the sexy key holders below.
Are you from Canada, Asia, or Europe? I’m not 100% sure but i don’t think the term douche bag has been coined there yet. So for those of you who are reading this that are not from the U.S., below is picture diagram and definition of a douche bag.
FuncFash-ness: 5/10
- Functional: 1/5 (you can hang your thumbs in the metal loops, but that’s about it)
- Fashionable: 4/5 (a shirt with fake sunglasses and metal loops on it? Priceless!)
Loading ...Where to Buy
- soliscompany: $51.00 (last updated: July 15, 2009)
Features:
- Unique and noticeable
- Fake suspender rings to hold your keys and any other creative ideas you can think up
- Tight fit to show off your muscles
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