WaveBox Portable 12 Volt Microwave
No Woman, No Pride, No Hungry
“Well, how do you explain this?” Sharon asked as she waved around the red lacy thong in front of John’s face.
“Surprise! It’s a gift for you!”
“I found this crumpled in your sport jacket pocket, there’s no tag, it’s not my size, and it’s stained! What kind of fucking gift do you think this is?”
“Well you see…”
“STOP! I don’t want to hear it. I can’t believe it. I am so FURIOUS! You are a scum bag. Get out of this house.”
“Sharon, wait you…”
“I said GET OUT” Sharon tossed the stained thong in John’s face. “GET OUT! GET OUT!” Sharon then continued to hurl whatever objects she could find in John’s direction.
It was pointless. John knew that. He was caught. He had to get out quick before Sharon really got mad. He quickly snatched up the thong and stuffed into his pocket. Just as Sharon was picking up the antique vase to toss at John, John made a swift exit out of the master bedroom.
With no time to pack John quickly descended the stairs. He grabbed his jacket, picked up the Midnight WaveBox, threw some frozen TV dinners into a plastic bag, and then dashed for the car.
As he pulled out of the garage Sharon yelled one last piece of encouragement, “It’s OVER! Don’t you ever come back! You piece of shit!”
After driving a few miles and feeling that it was safe, John pulled over and just stared blankly through the windshield. “Man, did I mess up,” he thought to himself, “I should have just left the panties at Michelle’s apartment!” He was also upset because in the heat of the argument he didn’t get a chance to eat dinner, but at least he came prepared. He plugged in the WaveBox and popped in Swedish Meatballs. 2 minutes later he was dining on meatballs. John reflected on the evening and all that had transpired, “Man, these are some good meatballs.”
FuncFash-ness: 8.5/10
- Functional: 4.5/5 (tv-dinners while driving? 3 ways to plug it in? Does it get any better)
- Fashionable: 4/5 (slick looking and integrated handles…brings sexy back)
Loading ...Where to Buy
- Cabela’s: Pearl $199
Features:
- Sure grip luggage style handle so no dropped waveboxes
- 3 Power options: AC Adaapter, 12 Volt Battery, or 12 Volt Vehicle
- 3 Preset cook buttons for one touch food cooking
- Weighs: 14lbs
- Comes in 4 stylish colors: Pearl, Cherry, Cobalt, and Midnight
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