Sportsta Mask: Breathe Freely and Scare Your Opponents
There are some products that catch my attention simply by looking at its picture. Without even reading what the Respro Sportsta Mask does I was strangely mesmerized by it. Mesmerized not so much by its beauty, but more mesmerized by its hideousness.
The mask scares the crap out of me, which got me curious as to what this thing does. The Sportsta Mask is an air filter than can prevent pollen, dust, swine flu (ok maybe not) from irritating your respiratory system as you do your extreme sports. It also offers some physical protection to your face thus preserving your dashing natural good looks.
When I first saw it I started thinking this thing looks familiar…I’ve seen this before. And then it dawned on me.
It’s the mask that Scorpion wears in Mortal Kombat! Now it makes sense! Scorpion wasn’t wearing the Sportsta Mask to hide his ugly skeleton face. Scorpion just had allergies!
Anyway, from the website it says that the mask is perfect for the following sports:
- Mountain Biking
- Motor Cross
- Climbing
- Skiing
- Snowboarding
- Jogging
- Horse Riding
- Speed Walking
I can understand the first few couple of sports, but the last three sports seem a little overkill to be wearing something as hardcore as a Sportsta Mask. I know if I saw someone wearing this while horse riding, I definitely would run for my life (see below).
It may not be as cool as bullet proof clothing, but if you’re looking for a something to protect your face and lungs from allergies, or you are in need of a quick Halloween costume pick up a Sportsta Mask (might actually be good for bank robberies too).
FuncFash-ness: 6/10
- Functional: 4/5 (protects your face and protects from allergens, ugliness will help you win races by intimidating opponents)
- Fashionable: 2/5 (most people wear stuff so people will look and admire them, people will not do this if you wear the Sportsta Mask)
Where to Buy:
- Amazon: Respro Sportsta Contour Face Mask $41.99 (last updated 8-21-09)
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