Break Your Opponents with the Unbreakable Umbrella
Officially named the Unbreakable Walking-Stick Umbrella and made by Real Self Defense this umbrella has 3 primary functions:
- Keep you dry when it rains
- Help you walk
- Beat the living crap out of someone
Really this is the equivalent of a steel pipe masquerading as a 1 lb fancy umbrella. So just how powerful and “unbreakable” is this umbrella? This video should give you an idea.
As you can see in the video this umbrella can withstand at least a 150 lb man standing on it, chop a water melon in half, and beat a punching bag senseless. It is also kind of cute to watch the demo guy open and close the umbrella after he performs each extraordinary umbrella feat. It’s like a little girl doing a curtsy after her recital.
The advantage of something like this is just like their sales page says…It’s legal to carry everywhere, never raises suspicions, and does not make you look silly (since you otherwise would if you walked around everywhere holding a steel pipe).
For a $180 dollars you can own one of these Unbreakable umbrella weapons. And should you break the unbreakable you are covered under a lifetime warranty. However, don’t think about throwing this umbrella under a bulldozer. That’s cheating and the policy specifically states:
This warranty does not cover fabric, nor does it cover damage caused by abuse or accident (such as throwing it under a train or a bulldozer, and subjecting it to other similar unreasonable stresses).
One last thing you’ll learn if you visit Real Self Defense and check out the umbrella is that the self defense umbrella is not just for ordinary citizens. It also currently used by the Philipino Secret Service to protect their president. Evidence below.
While our American Secret Service uses wussy guns to protect our president the Philippines government has a squad of Umbrella ninjas. We have much to learn.
FuncFash-ness: 7.5/10
- Functional: 3.5/5 (does all the things a normal umbrella can, but also slices watermelons!)
- Fashionable: 4/5 (looks like a nice umbrella a professional sophisticated person would carry)
Where to Buy:
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