Brief Jerky: Protein Packed Underwear
Posted In:
Beef jerky underwear. Underpants made from untreated beef jerky. So the next time you go out into the wilderness strap on a pair of brief jerky’s and never worry about starving if you get stranded.
Don’t think it’s stylish enough for you? Check out the bedazzled jewels that are attached. If that’s not sexy then I don’t what is…
As a side benefit they say that by wearing these pants you can unleash your body’s natural pheromones which will act as a natural aphrodisiac and attract all the ladies who like guys who wear pants made from animal bits.
Rumor has it that wearing our BRIEF JERKY undergarments will release their natural pheremones once your body heat and moisture kicks in!
Can you imagine how nice you would smell after wearing these underpants and then running 5 miles? You definitely would smell so fresh and so clean! And after your run the jerky would be heated up and ready to be consumed…
…though it does say that unfortunately the meat is not for consumption. Though I think this is just a disclaimer so the makers don’t get sued for someone getting food poisoned by eating their underwear.
Funcfash-ness: 8/10
- Functional: 3/5 (probably not the most comfortable, but maybe the most tasty underwear you’ll ever own)
- Fashionable: 5/5 (who wears protein based underwear? Only sexy people)
Where to buy:
- Etsy: Brief Jerky by mixed species $150
If you like this kind of stuff subscribe to the RSS feed or get it delivered through email 
Or follow us on Twitter. For the really cool…Fan Us on Facebooker
Related posts:
